My heart is slowly breaking and I’m crying myself to sleep at night. It’s the third day he’s been stuck in the hospital, hooked up to wires and cables, so tangled up in the mess these greedy surgeons and nurses put him in that he can’t even get up from the bed to take a piss. It’s tearing at my heart with every text he sends me and every word he whispers through my headphones. His discomfort and sadness is palpable and I don’t want anything in this world more than to just be by his side and feel his warmth and make him laugh.
I don’t let him know my sadness, but I let him know my anger at the injustice of him sitting in there while I’m comfortable being as useless as I could possibly be cooped up in my house.
And cursing the MTA and Bloomberg for blowing up this hurricane to some huge disaster when it hasn’t even turned put to be a fraction of what those money hungry bastards made it out to be. They kept me from seeing him, from being by his side.
And I let him know how strong and patient he is throughout this whole ordeal where I would’ve been crying hysterically and throwing tantrums left and right from day one.
And so he’s been spending his nights alone under a strangers’s roof. In the morning they’re boring holes into his shoulder to get out the blood clots that had formed there just before he was supposed to come over to see me. They’re still not sure what caused it, incompetent fools that they are, but it’s sure to be anatomical, something related to the strain in his shoulder that damaged his veins. The worst case scenario is that it could also be a rib near his collar bone that’s pinching the vein somehow, and if that’s true they’re going to have to remove that bone. I’m praying like crazy that it doesn’t actually come to that.
Now that he’s just as obsessed with ‘a Song of Ice and Fire’ as I am, we’ve taken to reading to each other when ever we’re bored and have nothing to do. He’s still reading ‘A Game of Thrones’ but I don’t mind reading some chapters over to him. In fact, it gives me a little nervous feeling when I’m reading aloud to him, as if I’m afraid of what he’ll think of me or that he might tire of hearing my voice. It’s strange to me because I’m not usually shy about reading aloud. Somehow it’s different when I’m around him, and because of those jittery feelings I start to stutter a bit sometimes, to my embarrassment. I thought I’d get used to it after a while but it’s still the same.
When he reads to me, however, he’s flawless. He never stumbles and, though it isn’t a great feat to be a good orator, it’s still somehow admirable when he flows through the lines like he wrote them himself. And his firm voice only adds to my elation while he’s reading. His reading to me, especially a book that I love, is probably the next best thing to his kissing me.
I shouldn’t forget to add that he’s absolutely hilarious when it comes to predicting what’ll happen in ‘A Clash of Kings’. His enthusiasm towards Robb is especially funny since he’s so set on him winning the war. All I could do was stare at him and I knew he kind of got the point when he asked ‘…just tell me lives.’ The poor soul.
So he’s finally beginning to pick up his pace reading AGoT. The faster he finishes all five books the closer I get to spewing all of my deep dark secrets and crackpot theories about TWoW. I can’t wait I can’t wait I can’t wait. With the risk of sounding like a loser I have to admit that he’d be my first real life friend who read all the books and the only one I can share my obsession with besides the random strangers on asoiaf.westeros.org, which is not to say that forum isn’t awesome, it is, but still, I’d prefer some real life people.
And since I’m on the subject, I’m patiently waiting for someone to leak the excerpt of TWoW somewhere tomorrow so I can leech off of it and formulate new crackpot theories because I couldn’t bear to wait another five years.
I kind of doubt that GRRM is going to take that long to finish TWoW though because he already said that he’s got about 100 pages down, just by taking out some stuff that should’ve been in ADwD and moving them to TWoW. I can’t wait.
Now I realize I haven’t gotten a chance to really rant about ADwD so here I go: what in seven hells. This damnable book left me with more cliffhangers than resolutions. What the hell GRRM, you are well past the middle of the series, I think it’s about time you start wrapping it up, not making things a million times messier. Seriously, the book in 99% cliffhanger; the biggest of all being the end of Jaime’s chapter.
Seeing Brienne alive was awesome but knowing that she’s probably leading Jaime to his death, not so awesome. What a fucking cliffhanger that was. Jaime’s one chapter in the entire book and it was probably the best of them all (excluding Dany’s first flight on Drogon, which was baddass). but still, I need desperately to know what Brienne and Jaime are up to, desperately, and all GRRM did was bring Brienne into the picture, say ‘sup Jaime come with me, and that’s it. I died.
Another thing that was freaking crazy was Cersei’s chapters. By the gods, I would have never imagined the level of deep shit this woman has gotten herself into. She basically sowed her own demise by arming the Faith. Really? Why, Cersei, why would you do that? Now she’s being paraded naked in the streets, not that she didn’t deserve every minute of it in a way, but arming the Faith was the biggest mistake on her part. I’m scared for Westeros.
Another shocker, the zombie that is Gregor. I’m kind of happy about this though because here’s Sandor’s chance to kill the Mountain that Rides once and for all.
And yes Sandor is still alive, there is no doubt about it. Screw you Martin for ever making me think otherwise.
Notice how none of the awesome parts included Tyrion, Dany, or Jon, who filled about 95% of the book. The reason is because I am sick and tired of these people fucking up.
Dany, you idiot, why did you marry Hizdahr, why did you send away Jorah, why did you fuck Daario, why did you chain away your dragons? You are a dumbass.
Jon, no, you can’t save all the wildings. Stop making it your goddamn business. You are ruining the Wall with all this unnecessary bull. Ramsay is lying to you, what in the name of the seven were you thinking trying to wage war on Ramsay? Did you really think the Men of the Night’s Watch were going to rally behind you and forsake all of their oaths? No. Your stabbing was just. For the Watch. I know you’re not dead though.
And I’m so sick of Tyrion sexualizing everything with a cunt he comes by. Why does he have to do/say/think something sexual all the time? I don’t want to envision a dwarf acting this way. It isn’t pleasant. What’s even worse is that he could’ve met Dany if he hadn’t gone into a brothel. Freaking moron.
I had a lot of respect for this character from the get-go (yes, even in aGoT). She’s perfect at everything and beautiful and happy and all a man could ever want and all that good stuff. THEN, after she’s betrayed and confused about the people around her, she begins to turn into a more badass character so, not only is she perfect, but she’s being groomed for control (by Cercei in Kingslanding and later on by Littlefinger in the Vale) while also catching the hearts of other badass characters (Sandor Clegane, Littlefinger, Tyrion). She’s also in the midst of all the action and I find her inner thoughts to be compelling because she’s built this huge wall of empty courtesy to protect herself, not only physically, but mentally too. She seems to be one of the last remaining characters who has held on to her sanity.